Happy 60 th birthday Mum! I love You!

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Happy 60 th birthday Mum! I love You!

I love you Mum!

This has been a tough week emotionally, My Dear Mum would have been 60 today!

Mum lost her battle with cancer at the age of 43.

17 years without her love, support, encouragement and wisdom!

My younger Sister’s, Beck was 11 and Heidi 19 when Mum passed away, I am grateful I had Mum in my life until I was 24.

My girls were 2 and 5 when Nanny went to heaven.

You would be so proud of your Grandchildren Mum! Yasmin, Ruby, Charlotte, Joshua, Bethany, Liam, Chester, Archie, Ivy, Jacob and Albert. 

You would have loved having a houseful of your children,Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren. 

Witnessing Mum deteriorating was the heaviest pain I have felt in my heart!

Watching you being so brave for all of us Mum was inspirational and heart rendering all at the same time.

Turning up one day unannounced and watching you through the dining room window mowing the lawn. Hairless due to the poisons searing through your veins, your already tiny frame, diminished to 5stone, a sports cap on your head soaked with sweat, pushing the manual lawn mower back and forth in the heat of July sun.

I open the back door once I have dried my eyes and shout hello!

You look up and smile, pleased to have some company.

I ask you “why you are mowing the lawn” Your reply is typical of you Mum.

“Your Dad is so busy with looking after Beck, going to work and caring for me Stel, I know its driving him mad the lawn overgrown. He needs to rest!”

This sums you up Mum! You were a fighter to your last breath, you never complained about the awful pain you was in, you kept this to your quiet times with Dad away from your Daughters as you didn’t want to worry us.

I will never forget our last hug Mum, you had barely moved all day.

It was taking all your energy to breath, I knew you was slipping away from your pain and suffering, preparing to enter into a much nicer place. I said to you don’t hold on for us Mum. You pulled me close and hugged me as tight as you could and said I love you! You managed to hold your last breath until you had seen all of your family, your Mum and your baby girl.

I love you too Mum! You have and always will be an inspiration to me! You were a fighter. At your funeral we couldn’t fit everyone in, I bet you couldn’t believe that. You always felt different because of your agoraphobia. Guess what Mum everyone loved you just how you were. The only person that struggled to love you was you!

I had so many people sharing their stories of how you had been there for them, made them smile, made them laugh!

You were a very special lady, a strong woman, a gentle soul, an amazing Mother, Grandmother, Loyal Wife and a caring Friend.

Our home was nicknamed the head rest! Because all though you didn’t go out much Mum! Everyone was welcome in our home. Anyone that needed some time out, a chat, a nice cup of a tea and a slice of your homemade cake.

You and Dad created a lovely space for people to come and feel safe, warmed by the fire and filled with your unconditional love.

I miss you every day, always in my heart!

I made you your favourite a chocolate Birthday cake I Hope you don’t mind that its suitable for vegans 😉

Love you forever!

Love from your Daughter Stella xxxxx

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4 responses »

  1. Stella that’s so beautiful, it’s got me in tears. Sad I never got to meet her. Lin had already been talking to me about her today. She’s clearly in everyone’s thoughts. Xxx

  2. Lovely Stella, I can’t believe it’s been 17 years. Carol will always be missed, she did, as you said always make people feel good about theirselves. I remember pulling up to southend crematorium in one of the cars and seeing what felt like hundreds of people standing outside, testament to what a great person she was. I hope you’ve all been ok today. Ray.

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